FYI – the noise in the interview is Sergi rubbing on my microphone. He wanted to be held for a large portion of the interview and LOVED the mic.
Ho Boy, what a week! First up, the world is a lot right now, and it’s OK to not be OK, and it’s OK to take a break, and Ursula and I will discuss that. We also have our individual productivity updates, and some discussion of the new book launch. Finally, we have an incredible catch-up with Michelle Wexelblat and how things have changed for her since we talked last!
Links for this Episode:
- Charity Spotlight: The Trevor Project
- Charity Spotlight: National Trans Equity System
- Charity Spotlight: Trans Lifeline
- Charity Spotlight: Planned Parenthood Action Fund
- Charity Spotlight: Carolina Abortion Fund
- Michelle Wexelblat on Twitter
- Michelle Wexelblat on Quora
- Early Intervention Training
- Last Hope K9 Boston
- Psoriatic onychodystrophy
- Cognitive Therapy
- Flare Audio
- AXIL Ear Protection
- Foundation for Shamanic Studies
- Sjogren’s Syndrome
- LAMY Digital Writing
- Goulet Pen Company
- Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome
- Hashimoto’s Disease
- Burnout Journal Page
- Planned Parenthood FRIES Infographic
- “Rooster Cubes”
- Fork Theory
- Migrane Buddy
- Clue App
- Oura Rings
- Crow Time Comic
- Slack Wyrm Comic
- The Forge FoundryVTT Hosting
- Ignacio “Nacho” Jarerio
- Rabbi Danya on using the term Abrahamic Religions
- LIFX Switches
And, as the universe sometimes does, I go from the high of having recorded that to so many things falling apart after. Thus I am getting more practice with being ok with not being ok.
Also here are the links for things I brought up that didn’t get listed yet.
Nacho’s info. https://www.emdria.org/directory/people/ignacio-jarero/
I also didn’t talk about the fact I was teaching grad school course and staying organized for the reference I make at the end of the show.
Sirius’ third condition was torn cartilage in his knees.
RE: Treatment of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is to treat the anxiety that can come up from having tinnitus.
I wish I knew what the connective thought that reminded me about shamanism and we didn’t get back to whatever we were talking about before that. Ah the joys of rambly conversations.
Rabbi Danya’s discourse is on not using that phrase about Abrahamic Religions https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1089589999920660484.html
AIP info if people are interested.
Before people correct me. The E in FRIES is enthusiastic. OOPS.
ACT = A Cautionary Tell. I could not remember it that day.
You didn’t list Foundry. I would like to pass that on to people if you can link it.
OK, I’ve added the Foundry Info info for you! And thanks for the extra links!
I’d love to hear Michelle’s take on the differences between suicide and not wanting to be part of the world anymore, because I think I get it, but I want to hear it.
Feel free to reach out via Twitter or something.
OK, I knew that if Michelle was coming on, it was going to be a hell of a journey (in a good way), and that I couldn’t do my usual thing of throwing on the podcast while I ride the subway, and play certain addicting phone games that shall remain unnamed. So I sat back, and got a cup of tea, and listened in one fell swoop.
Let me first say how fucking thrilling it was to hear someone else talk about consent based life. It’s something that I’ve been a huge huge fan of for a very long time. There have been relationships that I’ve had where the person involved is all, “So whenever I do ______, what you need to do is ______”, and I’ll cut that sentence off REAL quick with, “What I need to do is exit this conversation, because that’s not the fuck what I signed up for. I don’t know you like that.”
Even if I DO know them like that, it needs to be something where I first ASK, “Hey, when this happens, what can I do to help out?” If that part doesn’t come first, you’re getting a hard no from me. I’m not your therapist. I’m not your mom. I’m your friend, and if you expect to keep it that way, you’ll goddamned respect my boundaries, no matter how arbitrary they seem to you, because they’re what keep me safe.
So just as we need to get consent for things that people ask to do to us, we also need to get consent to help out folk when we think they need it. It’s like that whole “Hey, do you need to vent, or do you want advice? I’m cool with either” thing. With that simple sentence, the people I’m talking to can make a decision on what it is they want out of a particular conversation about a problem they’re having. And, just as it’s OK to ask for advice, it’s OK to say, “Hey. That’s above my pay grade. I’m happy to listen to you, but I can’t give you advice on this one. This one’s on you.”
I loved hearing about you and Michelle going off on tangents about life, your mutual friends, and all the rest. There was SO much incidental wisdom that happened to leak out when it was conversation about seemingly unrelated stuff. I’d never heard that dysgraphia is a sensory processing issue, but it hella makes sense when I put the pieces together with folk in my life for whom writing is torture. It 100% tracks.
I am a Jersey boy to the core of my being, because that’s where I live and work. The only time I go into the city are on those beautiful days where you fall in love with the city all over again. Those perfect, crisp Spring or Autumn days, with just a tiny nip in the air, and everything looking interesting and fun, and not grody with grey snow or the bouquet of stale urine in every street corner. On those days I really seriously consider moving back to NYC, but then realise that I’d be paying three times the rent for a studio, when my apartment in Jersey City is a 1 bedroom, and then I go back across the river to my own life, grateful for what I have.
New Yorker is a state of mind. If you’re the type of person who feels energised by the heartbeat of the city every time you come back (no matter how long you’ve been away), you’re a New Yorker. If you use “fuck” as punctuation, you’re a New Yorker. If you roll your eyes at some bitch from Ohio who just moved to Williamsburg talking shit about New Jersey, you’re a New Yorker.
Long story longer, I loved this episode!
Hey Dino… Right back atcha https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fQukMXK5wY